Don’t book anything yet!!

Even though you might naturally have an idea about when and where you might want to be married, do not book any venues or make deposits until the local parish church preparing you for marriage has gathered and “rubber stamped” all the necessary paperwork required. 

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The Top Two Questions

1.  "WE DON'T ATTEND THE CHURCH BUT WOULD LIKE TO GET MARRIED AT SAINT TIMOTHY'S" 

Answer: Because of the limited availability of our own clergy, typically weddings at St. Timothy's are officiated by them for members of this parish church only or those who live within our local parish district.

If you live in and attend another parish, please initiate and complete your local marriage preparation program there. Once your marriage preparation program is completed, your own local Catholic clergy are most welcome to officiate your wedding here following our parish requirements for wedding planning and use of the church.  Please ask your priest or deacon who will be officiating at your wedding to personally call us for the possibility of available dates.

2.  "HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO GET MARRIED AT ST. TIMOTHY'S?

Answer: It doesn’t have to cost anything! As a minimum, weddings only require the clergyman, the couple and two witnesses!  Marriage ceremonies that take place during our regular Sunday Mass schedule not only reduce your own financial burden, parishioners who opt to be married on the Lord's Day enjoy a packed church, music and they provide encouragement to all.

If, however, parishioners use the church outside of regular Mass times, depending on their use of the building, special arrangements will naturally have to made to prepare such as extended use of utilities and necessary personnel to ensure the church environment is ready.

Understandably, if you or your immediate family have a history of actively attending St. Timothy's along with a record of supporting the upkeep of the facilities, we will meet with you to make sure there is the minimal of financial burden to you is incured.    

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AND THERE IS ALWAYS PAPERWORK!

During the course of her 2000 years, the Catholic Church has seen the rise and fall of countless empires, governments, and political systems. Because of this and towards the common good of everyone, the Church has her own legal understanding of the rights and responsibilities of those entering into a marriage relationship, particularly for her own children.

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7 STEPS TO THE ALTAR

1.  MEET WITH YOUR MARRIAGE PREPARATION MINISTER

As soon as your engagement is official, but before you set a date, you should call the parish and schedule your first meeting with the pastor.

2.  TAKE THE FOCCUS INVENTORY

FOCCUS (Facilitate Open Caring Communication Understanding & Study) encourages couples to discuss a broad range of topics that can help them learn communication and conflict resolution skills.  This tool is provided to couples at their parishes, online, or at the Diocesan Retreat Day (Celebrating Your Love).

3.  MEET YOUR MENTOR COUPLE

Couples have the opportunity to meet a mentor couple who can support, encourage, and pray for them throughout—and beyond— the marriage preparation process. 

4.  ATTEND A ONE DAY RETREAT

This is a one-day retreat held on Saturdays at locations throughout the Diocese of San Diego. The program presents a summary of Catholic teaching on marriage and an overview of life skills essential for marriage.

Go to sdcatholic.org/JOYL for dates and registration.

5.  SETTING YOUR DATE

After you have completed the one day retreat and received and reviewed your FOCCUS tool feedback, arrange to meet again with the parish clergy to discuss your insights and review where you are in your preparation for marriage. If all is in order, this is the time to set your date. (In short, if you have scrolled down to read this section first, go back to the top and read from the beginning! One step at a time. It's worth it!)

6.  BEGIN MEETING WITH YOUR MENTOR COUPLE 

Your mentoring couple, not only will be for you a "Witness to Love", they are at your service to provide a listening ear and to help introduce you to other opportunities for personal and spiritual growth, such as our Parish Engaged Couples Fellowship and a regional Engaged Encounter Weekend Retreat (Go to engagedencountersd.org for dates and registration.) 

7.  MEET WITH OUR CHURCH WEDDING PLANNER

The Wedding Planner will help you to keep your focus on the sacred dimensions of the wedding and help you minimize unnecessary distractions. 

1. Contact the church where you were baptized and ask them to send you an UPDATED record of your baptism record. Although a Catholic may have received other sacraments such as Confirmation and First Holy Communion in other churches, typically the church of your baptism is always informed and your record is kept up to date.
2. Have you entered into a past marriage relationship with anyone else? If so, secure a copy of the legal license and the final divorce or annulment papers. If you had entered a past marriage that was presumed factual from a Catholic understanding, it will be necessary to test its validity first before proceeding.